Thinking

So I got to thinking lately. If I am so busy that I don't have time to make anything then what exactly is it that is getting me through the days. What is making me happy. Short list but here it is....

1. My husband. He is a constant source of strength to me. Although he said I need to give up Scrapbooking so I can get more done so he loses a point or 2 there.
2. My cat Handsome. Silly to say a cat makes you happy? I don't think so. He makes me laugh and talk in baby talk. How bad can that be?
3. Stash chai tea. Sorry but this tea has to make the list. One glass of iced chai each morning with 2% milk and splenda and I am a happy girl.
4. Cooking. Who knew! I love to find new recipes. I may not always get to make them but I feel like I am The Barefoot Contessa sometimes.
Except I do not own 50 shirts all the same but in different colors. Oh hell who am I kidding...I do have quite a collection of white t-shirts.
5. Breathing....yes breathing makes me happy it can make the list! I am not talking about a stuffed up nose. No I am talking about living, breathing. Have you ever paid attention to your breathing or your body? Since I started taking yoga I do. It is amazing when you are feeling stressed to put your feet flat on the floor, center yourself and take a deep breath. You feel grounded.

So there we have it. Short list but all I have right now and the way my life is going these days I am lucky I can come up with 5 things.

What makes you happy? Have you made a list lately?

Nothing....I have nothing

I am so overwhelmed with life and work that I have not been able to sit down and create anything! I move from project to project trying to find that "feeling" and nothing.

When I sit at my desk I have a rainbow of Copic markers calling my name. If I turn to the right my sewing machines are starting to feel neglected and covered in dust. To the left is my work counter. Covered in unfinished projects and ideas. I even have a basket with unfinished quilts in it. Apparently I want to see how many can NOT be finished by the time I leave this earth. So far I am winning.

I used to think that being talented was a gift. The ability to make or do anything was so great(except I can't play the piano and that still pisses me off). But sometimes you get out of control with projects or ideas and it is like being a kid who says he isn't tired but you find him slumped over on the floor sound asleep.

I sometimes think I should find one thing and just do that. But what fun would that be? A factoid....I make quilts and I do not hang them on the wall or put them on my beds. I am not a quilt person. Although I do make mostly contemporary ones...they are still just a bit country looking for me. So what good is that craft you ask? Quilting is a skill and it must be conquered!!!!!! And the precision of it is right up my ally. Scrapbooking? Haven't figured this one out yet. I have no kids to scrapbook, just a cat and a husband...oh sure throw in the nieces and nephews and maybe the grand kids (figure it out on your own!)but why do I do it? Who is going to want to read my story when I am gone?

I could go on but I am already overwhelmed and would collapse in a heap if I totalled it all up so lets just let it be shall we.

I will focus again someday I know I will. Just trying to ride this tide of creative overloadness (yes I made up that word).